In the mid-1990’s, psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun acknowledged the importance of post-traumatic growth in their research. Post-traumatic growth is a vital stage in therapy.  Sometimes individuals will discontinue therapy because goals have been met, which is important; however, these individuals have not worked with their therapist in implementing post-traumatic growth.  Clients will learn how to emotionally regulate, identify self-defeating beliefs, establish boundaries, etc., but will not complete the final stage in therapy- post-traumatic growth.  

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I’ve never really loved math much. Anyone who really knows me will tell you I’m a words kind of girl- too many words usually, especially when it comes to writing! Ask The Oaks’ Director of Finance. It’s a good thing I love her so much or I would skip out on our meetings in a heartbeat!

But God’s math- that’s a math class I’ll sign up for any day.

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I often hear people say, “Why are periods of waiting so difficult?  Why do we feel like God has abandoned us in seasons of waiting?”  When God has us in a holding pattern, we know there is a reason for this season of waiting. These seasons can make us feel forgotten asking God, “do you see me?” Holding patterns teach us so much in life and so much about ourselves. We have a choice of how to walk each moment of the waiting period. Holding patterns teach us patience and to wholeheartedly rely on God and what He has for us.

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Poems can be a powerful way to express how we’re feeling. It is healthy to express our thoughts and feelings to our loved ones and also to God. While you might feel like you need a “format” or a “right way” to talk to God, He’s thrilled to listen to your honesty and your creativity that can be expressed through a poem. Here’s a great example of an honest expression of faith written by our Lead Wellness Consultant, Lisa Hathaway.

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When I think of roots of a tree, I visualize roots so deep and stable because they have to be the complete foundation of a growing tree for hundreds of years. But the tree didn’t start with the deep roots. It took years and years, facing adversity of weather and storms, to make it strong. The roots are there to provide a strong, unwavering strength for it to grow and flourish.

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I don’t know about you, but I have always loved an underdog story. Recently my husband and I saw the movie Greater, about Brandon Bulsworth. It is a true story about an underdog that others underestimated. Brandon Bulsworth ended up not only being an amazing football player, but also someone who “walked the walk”. I love these stories because of what God does with “ordinary” people. They end up doing extraordinary things because of God and their own humility. God is an amazing author in the stories He writes- all He asks for is a willing and obedient heart.

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Tragedy can knock the breath out of us unlike anything else. While there is no magic fix or perfect words for times like these, The Oaks would like to offer some thoughts and strategies that we hope are helpful as you take care of yourself and others during extremely difficult times.

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Do you ever find yourself feeling blah? Unmotivated? Exhausted? At some points in life, we all find ourselves feeling this way especially if we are grieving the loss of something we love. Life can also become so busy or overwhelming that we simply fail to “stop and smell the roses.” And if I’m really honest, there have been times I didn’t even notice the roses. (Are you sure they were there?) Sometimes, we find ourselves just going through the motions, but not really living.

What can you do to change that?

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I started doing yoga almost two decades ago. It was very different from the exercises I did at the gym and I felt it was a great addition to my workout routine. At first I hadn’t paid attention to the spiritual aspect of it and truthfully was unaware that some religions use it. To me it was a workout and that was it.

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The Oaks’ roots are getting deeper and stronger each and every day. The Lord is planting people all around our community who are just willing to say, “Yes Lord, I will go!” There is really no secret sauce, starting age, specific experience requirements, or fancy clothes that have to be worn in order to connect with a Thriving Community. It’s honestly just the obedience to say, “Yes Lord, use me for your glory right where I am to do BIG THINGS for you!” We’d love to tell you about one young lady who stepped up to simply say, “Yes!” Anna Middleton is one of our youngest volunteers who is selflessly taking on the job of raising The Oaks’ chickens, so that people in our program can have fresh eggs for free.

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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder “is a mental health problem that some people develop after experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening event, like combat, a natural disaster, a car accident, or sexual assault. It's normal to have upsetting memories, feel on edge, or have trouble sleeping after this type of event. If symptoms last more than a few months, it may be PTSD (US Department of Veterans Affair, 2020).” If you experience these symptoms, but then they subside, you could be experiencing Acute Stress Disorder.

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We have all had the experience at a family gathering, church supper, or social event. We’ve found ourselves at a giant buffet table crammed with homemade foods. Delicious? For sure. Perilous? When you have a couple of young, picky eaters – yep. Overwhelming? A little. I want to share a few nuggets of wisdom I have found at buffet tables along the way, tucked between the broccoli casserole and deviled eggs.

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I have always been an anxious person. I have the tendency to overanalyze, overthink, and obsess over every little thing. After the pandemic hit, my anxious tendencies shifted to obsessing about safety. Do I have covid? Is that surface I just touched contaminated with the virus? Will my family be okay? It didn’t take long for these thoughts to totally consume and control my mind. The majority of my thoughts surrounded covid and my family’s safety. The constant worry was exhausting. How could I be a school psychologist and not have control over these thoughts? How can I help others when I cannot even control my own worry?

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It’s time to Spring Forward. . . .which I never like to hear, because I lose one hour of sleep (but I do like having more daylight). What I don’t like about “spring forward or fall back” is the effects it has on one’s sleep cycle. I can remember as a teacher, when we would “spring forward” my students would be sluggish, and s-l-e-e-p-y. Besides the obvious, why is sleep so important? Sleep regulates our moods, how we respond to stress, focus at school or work, and our physical health.

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Community is a powerful force.

Are you feeling isolated? Due to the parameters with which we have to operate during the Covid-19 pandemic, it’s easy to find ourselves feeling alone, even when we are physically around people. God made us for connection. He created us to be in relationship- with Him first, and then also with one another.

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“You are what you eat,” is a popular phrase that is heard often. This section will cover how healthy foods can improve your focus, have mental clarity, improve sleep, and maintain your mental health. Reflect on what you have eaten in the last few days. Hopefully you ate foods that were healthy for you mentally.

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“Most psychiatrist illnesses are NOT mental health issues at all. . .they are brain health issues that steal your mind. . . Get your brain right and your mind will follow. “ - Dr. Daniel Amen

Recently, there has been more research reported about brain health. Brain health is a focus on what chemicals are and are not being released in the brain. These chemicals affect hormone levels, energy level, sleep, and moods. As more is being learned about the body, we are seeing how an unhealthy lifestyle can lead to long-term problems.

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